Jeff Jones
03-12-2009, 02:55 PM
Bernard Madoff, financial scammer to the rich and famous, finally has figured out that he just "thought" he lived in a big house. Now he will finish out his days really living in "The Big House."
Not to worry. As they say, "When one door closes, another one opens."
With Bernie's considerable persuasive skills and long-time track record, he is the ideal candidate to join the "Sports Information Industry."
"Bernie Madoff, The Tout With Conviction."
All he needs is a "cell" phone.
Can you imagine...
"The Safecracker Lock of the Day:" I mean he's literally going to be surrounded with guys who really can pick locks all day long!
"The Iron Pile Pick of the Day!" Let the weightlifters assign "weights" to each game!"
And the white supremacists! They could cover all-white sports! Really, when is the last time we had any reliable handicapping information on curling or luge?
The Hispanics could cover soccer and cock-fighting, and the black brotherhood, could run customer service and handle the complaint department.
And the "booty bandits" could keep them all happy.
Bernie is going to do fine.
Move over Root and Feist.
Not to worry. As they say, "When one door closes, another one opens."
With Bernie's considerable persuasive skills and long-time track record, he is the ideal candidate to join the "Sports Information Industry."
"Bernie Madoff, The Tout With Conviction."
All he needs is a "cell" phone.
Can you imagine...
"The Safecracker Lock of the Day:" I mean he's literally going to be surrounded with guys who really can pick locks all day long!
"The Iron Pile Pick of the Day!" Let the weightlifters assign "weights" to each game!"
And the white supremacists! They could cover all-white sports! Really, when is the last time we had any reliable handicapping information on curling or luge?
The Hispanics could cover soccer and cock-fighting, and the black brotherhood, could run customer service and handle the complaint department.
And the "booty bandits" could keep them all happy.
Bernie is going to do fine.
Move over Root and Feist.